My beliefs

I am a strong believer in God, but sometimes my mind loses track on who my savior is. The crowd that I hang out with is often one of the main factors that decides whether I act godly or sinful. People that are hypocritical about their faith are often people that are two faced, or in other words, two different people during church and during activities that don't involve church. This last weekend I went to a retreat in Wyoming and I really felt like I connected with God, unlike so many times before. Sometimes I doubt our savior and if he's really there, but when I go to church I realize that he is so real, and I wish people would see that. In relationships, I find it hard to meet a guy that is going to respect the way I feel about God, or feels the same way I do. I rarely attend church because I work on Sundays, but I really don't think I would go anyways, because I'm not the person that enjoys the lessons or preaching like they do on Sunday mornings. I guess that's just me. It really irritates me when people say that they are athiest or worship the devil because it's kind of an insult to me, seeing as I am a believer in God. During school I rarely ever talk about my faith because people who come across to strongly in their beliefs are rather considered 'freaks' or 'nerds', and I would prefer not to be called that. If I date or marry someone who is a strong believer in God, I think I would feel very uncomfortable because I feel that at any single moment I could screw up or step out of my boundaries and ruin it. I would feel very insecure as if they are always watching my every action, waiting for me to do something wrong.