My beliefs

I am a strong believer in God, but sometimes my mind loses track on who my savior is. The crowd that I hang out with is often one of the main factors that decides whether I act godly or sinful. People that are hypocritical about their faith are often people that are two faced, or in other words, two different people during church and during activities that don't involve church. This last weekend I went to a retreat in Wyoming and I really felt like I connected with God, unlike so many times before. Sometimes I doubt our savior and if he's really there, but when I go to church I realize that he is so real, and I wish people would see that. In relationships, I find it hard to meet a guy that is going to respect the way I feel about God, or feels the same way I do. I rarely attend church because I work on Sundays, but I really don't think I would go anyways, because I'm not the person that enjoys the lessons or preaching like they do on Sunday mornings. I guess that's just me. It really irritates me when people say that they are athiest or worship the devil because it's kind of an insult to me, seeing as I am a believer in God. During school I rarely ever talk about my faith because people who come across to strongly in their beliefs are rather considered 'freaks' or 'nerds', and I would prefer not to be called that. If I date or marry someone who is a strong believer in God, I think I would feel very uncomfortable because I feel that at any single moment I could screw up or step out of my boundaries and ruin it. I would feel very insecure as if they are always watching my every action, waiting for me to do something wrong.

My future in show choir

Is show choir worth my time and effort? For many cases, yes, but when you think long and hard about how it affects my life in the future, and it doesn't. I want to spend my time doing something that's going to benefit me and my career. Rather than spending two of my class periods taking a class that's all about singing and dancing, I could take a core class (educational) and get more prepared for college, and so on. Being in show choir helps me gain more social status, improves my singing and dancing skills, and helps me gain a better relationship with directors and peers. Show choir also betters my skills with being in front of an audience. Every competition, depending on where it is, has an audience of about 150-400. There are so many factors that are in play that depend on how good a show choir group is. There's the sharpness of their moves, their tone quality, the way they connect with the audience, intonation, facials, how advanced their choreography is, the over all picture, and many more things. I feel disadvantaged with show choir because at this school, I may not be the best singer or dancer. But at other schools, I could be pretty talented compared to the other kids of my class. I do not feel very confident about myself when peers younger than me are getting the varsity spots over me. This year, I did not make the varsity show choir, unlike almost all of my friends, so I made the prep show choir again. I felt very sad and isolated. Prep show choir isn't that bad, its just that I'd so much rather be in the varsity instead. The positive side to it is that I get to know a lot of the underclassmen, and meet new people. I think that show choir is really fun, but at times I regret getting involved in all of it because there's so much of a time commitment, and I don't want to get caught up in things that I'm not going to benefit from in the future. Honestly, I think I would rather take an academics class. :)

Jobs

Hey audience. :)

As many of you probably don’t know, I am currently an employee at Hyvee. I work about 4 times a week on average. I wouldn't exactly say that my current job is the 'dream' job that I have always wanted or anything like that, but right now, I don’t have any other way of income, so I take what I can get. Another factor that you have to think about when getting a typical job is what the job is inside AND out, which is one mistake I made. When you look at my job, a courtesy worker or bagger, you think all you would have to do is bag peoples' groceries and maybe get a few carts. That's not what its like at all. Some of the 'extra' things you have to do are: take out all of the trashes in the store and by the registers, clean the bathrooms (women’s', men’s', and the family room, no matter your gender), constantly go out and get carts, clean up spills made by shoppers or even employees, and other dirty, low jobs like that. On top of that the breaks are really short. Most of the time, my break is fifteen minutes. Another thing you have to watch out for when getting a job is the managers or bosses you will be having. You don't want a boss that's going to get on you for every little thing that you do wrong, or else you won't enjoy yourself at work. I like the bosses that are very easy going and don't expect you to do every little thing. I also enjoy jobs that don't require specific attire. I can deal with looking nice and professional, but not when you have to wear the same thing over and over again everyday you go to work like Hyvee requires. To work at Hyvee, you must come into work wearing a white button-up shirt with a collar, long black or brown pants, tie or broach, white or black shoes, and your name tag. That attire is way too much for me, and I dread wearing it. Is this normal for me to think that my job is a waste of my time? Does anyone else think that? What are the pros and cons of your job?